quiet optimism begone

Shouting from my soapbox of cynicism

2004-12-07T22:11:00.000-08:00

we have been this scene before
we beat the drums of war
but turn a gaze to the seeds of the rich
and the drums will reach a fever pitch
and suddenly the need’s increased
the generals ask for more beneath
and we throw away a thousand more

so where have they been?
asks a brand new locomotive
and where were you then?
making plans to not be voting?

through the last four years
when we couldn’t even hear
the mothers tears over the drums and cheers
screaming in our ears and keeping us in fear

beating down a traveled path on parallel tracks
only this time feeling the aftermath of a disastrous past of violent acts

yet we still rush in fast

it’s now known that leaders can be wrong
and some things shouldn’t last so long
but how easily can we forget
the My Lai massacre or Tet
and the flaws of ethnocentric arrogance
and the same souls carried as our troops advance
either fighting Saddam or the Viet Cong

this is over a year old

2004-10-25T01:05:00.000-07:00

A swirl of green
We're tumbling into structure
It scares us to deshackle and accept
Because structure gives way to the very thing
Completion and direction towards null
A swirl of green is all you see
The ground gives way above you
Put six bullets in your chamber
Six feet in your head
One brain fucking dead because it couldn't identify dread

Kiss Me

2004-09-26T01:20:00.000-07:00

"so long"
seems to give my lips throes
aching with the loss of a beginning
so long
so long ago

under the spinning moon
we fired our pistols upwards
to mark the start of something new
we were insatiable as our tongues tied onto each others
and the chilling drying moisture only fed the fire
and we burned so high I thought we'd never tire
and like the fucking olympic torch
we passed the flames back and forth

now the pins and needles of my sleeping half
removed from in between my ribs
have clinched and withdrawn
and picked the lock of lips

Now it's open
but for how long?

swinging open
and extinguished

the lock is open
saying "so long"

Now is the winter

2004-09-20T22:39:00.000-07:00

Wading in yellow fog,
this night

Shining through tiny orbs
of chemical compost

Inaudible inhalation
a deep breath so gracious
can pull, twist and tumble better
than leaf blower imitations

While making room for natures blues
it's changing from the bottom
the leaves all feel that their reddish hues

........have forgotten the feel of autumn

Disappear

2004-09-20T19:42:00.000-07:00

describing what I see would be
nothing but a dream
to stand up naked against
the darkness that falls
and wrap both my hands around
a pillar that supports
the fake shining stars with their

sickly

greenish

colors and their

boundless

backdrop of

walls I can make vanish

This isn't sane

2004-07-12T15:25:00.000-07:00

into a different reality
where I don't care
but it doesn't carry me

nothing even seeming real
raw lines that aren't my own
forgotten me, or have I them

and then the buzzing
like a rippling electricity
a whipping density

it'll split my spine in two
and climb out to play me true
a happy ending starts the show
and against my will, it's slow
my deaf ears reaching with moral fiber
sound comes into view and he finds her

the vault is open

stop seeing the cheering crowd
gritting teeth will be their stamping feet
as they turn to leave, let down
their ghastly sneers scream defeat

this dam will break
for it's in tune with your every sense
how much can you take
within yourself auric thoughts condense

will a loop of twine relax you?
will it loosen your jaw from it's hinged hold?

with the pressure off of one hilltop well
a tighter grip is on the source
and with dawn we flow back to our shell
an opaque backbone bottled with force

come back today
and keep the doctor away...

This is "contrast"

2004-07-07T16:56:00.000-07:00

I saw the world in black and white
presented to me in a new light
a liquid embraced detour
as I descended from my flight

for one second the sky revealed its true appearance
the night was illuminated
and the darkness reversed polarity

and the mirror on the ground had bright black circles under her eyes
like halogen mascera which rippled as she cried
not the moon nor his reflection offered to console
as her contrast died

eventually her hue became nothing new
and the moon continued to do what he must do
as the darkness triupmhed
claiming the night and her tears anew

and two pools of shining moonlight
with an altered course
melted into the guiding line

and so gaining nothing and losing less
I soon forget the celestial test
because my roots sink deeper into the pedal
and faster I fade away from the best

This won't survive long

2004-07-07T16:04:00.000-07:00

talks to himself at night
lying in ruin after the fight
the battle waged every day to keep on breathing

desperate grab for air
instead of running fingers through hair
pulls in her likeness on hand-sewn velvet

cotton filled placebo
he never lets go
cotton filled placebo
it never says no
the flaccid finish
never will blow

taking his own advice
believing for once things will be alright
the crickets will listen to whispers forever

This is short

2004-07-07T16:02:00.000-07:00

the last time I saw five a.m.
was nothing like tonight
I could smell the smoke in your hair
and you could smell my fright
I was the rose, and you the stem
support grows ever clear
but tonight, in form so rare
I never shed a tear

This is unfinished

2004-07-07T16:00:00.000-07:00

let us build the wall
so you cannot see
around you head and the wounds
where your ears used to be

I hope isolation hurts

let us bathe in rapture
brought by one thing
to see you unseeing and listening to space
to watch you fumble, your fingers gone
and try to grasp her fling

let your tired throat throw stones

This is not the best, too angsty sounding

2004-07-07T15:51:00.000-07:00

When the tough get going
I linger behind
because in this state
here among the pine
I will hate
my own kind

your ghost is up in arms
failing to depress
the sheet on my bed
yet I couldn't rest
if you left my head

so what do the weak do
when after all we go through
the scene remains
no distance changed
still the same

and the harder it rains
the greener it becomes
and the greater the pain
the more I numb

This has no name

2004-07-07T03:33:00.000-07:00

The selfless egotist would run
To a dead fiber optic social scene
Recalling a life, a torture,
A C+ student stuck in a dream

In a carpeted trap with one sleepy half
And a box raining trash on their head
His lens caps were on and they watched him play dead
They scratched, he opened, they fed

Feasting on his reverie
Stopping only when he's dead

So, pierced and blown by tidal waves
of sounds so grave
His sleeping half will rest content
With her knees bent

Father in character, dressing the part
Mom's in chains, wrestling sharks
So seize this time and uproot young trees
And find yourself some peace

Ignore that partnered pillar now
And tell your blood the day is out
The time for rain is at an end
By now his arms hold only drought

Carried barely on cracking, crumbling limbs
Moving from room to room
Soon reduced to silent dust and a heart
Cross draft lifts them soon

Lingered in the living room
coursed her blood a little bit too long
But his remains blew out the door

Leaving feels so wrong